We’re house hunting. Which is NOT at ALL what they show on HGTV, by the way. #HeadsUp #SpoilerAlert
And we just keep hitting walls on more fronts than I care for. We’ve waited for this moment for over three years, and…crappy as it may sound, after all our waiting I’m kinda “over” life fighting me on it.
I’ve been patient. Now I kinda want what I want.
Also important to note: I’m tired of people telling me that the “waiting will be worth it” as if this is some new concept I have not entertained the idea of.
The age thing is hitting me harder & harder these days too…now that I’m 32 and supremely “behind” in a lot of life’s moments. I never hit that wall of turning 30 and going “Well, life is over now. Goodbye 20s!” I hate – truly HATE – when people whine and complain about getting older or having another birthday to celebrate or “OH NO! Thirty! Run!”
Shut.Up. You’re ALIVE. Celebrate THAT.
I was EXCITED for 30, because I knew these would be the years I had been waiting for.
But those creepy, haunting voices in the back of my head are certainly becoming louder the “older” I get. It doesn’t help when actual real-life-people seem to take enjoyment out of poking you and reminding you that you’re “not getting any younger” either. Again, tell me something I’m unaware of.
It’s not about wanting kids anymore, it’s more about…when we get there will I even be able to HAVE kids?! I have shaken that fear off more times than I can remember.
And while I’ve accepted my fair share of lectures on the “next steps” in OUR relationship – I’m over those too. I don’t particularly need your advice. I don’t think people realize that we’ve all but been living together since we started dating — we’ve just been bouncing between parent’s homes as we paid off debts and saved for THIS moment. What daft fools we are for attempting to be financially responsible. 😉
I don’t think most people realize that if it weren’t for money and MY request for a home before a ring before we even hit our first year anniversary…we would’ve been all those things long before now too. Fairly early on, we knew.
Our plan isn’t like the regular ones, and for that – I’m pretty freakin’ grateful.
This growing up thing is not for the faint of heart.
I am beyond lucky that at the end of a seemingly endless emotional breakdown that left my defeated by failures and lost opportunities and getting older and “running out of time” type scenarios…he set me straight.
He reminded me of all I HAVE accomplished, all I’ve been able to experience. The places I traveled. The career I was so determined to achieve – an opportunity that most would kill for – one that many said couldn’t be found, I found. That I work, daily, on something I love and am passionate about with a team I consider family — is beyond what most kids dream of. And that, yes, maybe I am 32 and still living at home, unmarried, with no kids — but those are things that haven’t happened yet…and things that we’re working on together.
So, we’re house hunting.
Which isn’t what they show you on HGTV.
But, likely. I’ll show you here.